I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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