Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
sarcasm needs its own font
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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