I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
