I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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