Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
