guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
