You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
