so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
