Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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