At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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