Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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