I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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