Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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