It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need to calm my uterus...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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