This is not my ceiling
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
