It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
