I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
