so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
