Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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