One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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