So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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