somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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