Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
