i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
