I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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