I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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