My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
