The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
