the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
