just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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