i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
