I just saw a hot homeless man
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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