woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
