If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
