Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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