Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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