Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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