the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have peed in a lot of sinks
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
