And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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