these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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