you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
