y did u give ur computer a hand job?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
