Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
