Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
