Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
