What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
