Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
