Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
vagina is talking i cant
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
