My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We need to get me chipped asap
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
