Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
