i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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