I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
